I watched this last night. This is basically what happens in it:

Dude, Jason quitting has caused an avalanche in my soul and now my inner rock god is trapped in this dark & snowy cave due to a bunch of boulders blocking the exit. Even taking my various $400,000 choppers for joyrides hasn’t been cutting it.

“Yah, me too. I haven’t been able to enjoy buying million dollar paintings that i can’t explain why i like, outside of the fact that they are expensive. We should hire a therapist/’performance enhance coach’ that charges us a ridiculous rate to help us get though our insular wealthy rocker self-pity.”

[enter Phil Towle, therapist/performance enchancement coach & part-time parrothead]

:
“Lars, James – You two are Metallica. Jason is not. Metallica is good. Repeat after me. Metallica is good. Metallica is good. Metallica is good.”

:
(In unison) “Metallica is good. Metallica is good.”

:
“Now go have a killer jam session! Metallica is good!”

[jam session at expensive studio]

:
“Lars what the fuck are you doing on the drums?”

:
“FUCK YOU! I’m trying to make this song more interesting and want to do that with experimental rhythms.”

:
“It’s way off and awkward sounding. Can’t you find the beat?”

:
(voice wavering) “Guys…please stop fighting. Your arguing is keeping me from totally shredding on this solo. I don’t know what to do with myself if I can’t shred!”

[therapy session #2]

:
“Lars totally sucks at drums. I’ve held back on saying this for decades. I wish we could have kicked this one-trick loser out, but he invented Metallica.”

:
(In James’s Face) ” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCK YOUUUUUUU!!!!!

:
“You guys need to let it all out. You guys need to chanel Saint Anger,
if you will.

:
“ROCK n’ ROLL!!”

:
“Great! Now let’s go over the invoice for my performance enhancement services.”