monkeys are not cute, they’re scary. i don’t like them and i don’t understand this tradition of watering down their image to depict them as these cuddly & warm creatures when they’re unpredictable, territorial, and capable of intense violence. in that movie aguirre wrath of god, there’s an infestation scene w/ klaus kinski that makes my skin crawl. i also saw an episode of Nature on PBS where aggressive baboons in south africa mug people in the parking lot for their groceries like total thugs. the people they confronted were stunned and slowly backed away from their bags like they were being held up by gunpoint. i’m familiar with evolution and all and understand we are primates, but it still weirds me out how human they are. i find it unsettling and therefore necessary to talk shit about them

so, one of the ‘highlights’ in the jungle episode of planet earth was a segment on chimpanzees. i thought everything was cool. they were showing the chimps hanging out gorging on figs and it was all so innocent and calm. later, about 30 of them banded together creeping about the jungle in stealth mode and then suddenly declared war on their rivals’ territory, shrieking and wielding branches as weapons. it was insane. then they ripped apart a rival chimp and starting eating it, which was traumatizing. cannibalism is already messed up psychologically but adding more to the inherent mindfuckery of it all, their mannerisms reminded me of people. they weren’t digging into the carcass with their mouths like lions & tigers do. they sat in a circle and shared the entrails and organs amongst each other with their hands. it was like a sit down dinner with the family. one of the chimps held out its hand while the other was cleaning out a skull, and it obliged and courteously passed the skull to him. strange & scary. it’s behavior that seems both civil and uncivil, the civil being the sharing & good manners and the uncivil being the war waging & cannibalism. one minute eating figs and another minute an enemy’s brain? i don’t get it. strange how chimpanzees are our closest evolutionary relatives and yet they get down with eating their own. there’s probably a metaphor in there somewhere.

in conclusion, monkeys are not cute. eating brain is NOT cute. and paul frank is wrong