I love John Lurie’s deadpan sense of humor and I’ve mentioned his Fishing with John show here before. He’s better known as a musician and actor first, but he is also a visual artist. Look at his paintings, especially the titles he gives them.

This was hanging on a tree outside when I came home this evening:

Uh-oh! Guess who just figured out how to rip video clips from her DVDs?

There is this group on facebook for fans of Aretha Franklin inauguration hat and a few of the submitted fan photos are hilarious

Attacking George Bush’s helicopter

file under guilty laffs

I don’t know why, but I love the grouchy heshers that work at Arinell’s pizza in the mission. There’s always some stoner rock or metal playing in there way too loud and they’re always throwing the pizza on the counter like they hate you and your yuppie guts. anyway, the last time i was in there the 2 guys behind the counter were arguing about whether the metal playing over the speakers sucked or not. So amusing. But really, i’m just looking for an excuse to post pics of the signs they have up by the register

My costume is finished!

I’m Bjork when she wore that dead swan dress to the Oscars a few years ago. Now all I need is a baby to carry around with me and I’ll punch anyone who tries to take a picture of me.

this is almost too embarassing to share but it also makes me laugh like a maniac in my head. i was on my friend’s roof the other nite to enjoy some fresh air which unintentionally turned into us “playing Rear Window”. we noticed that there was a quiet party in one of the windows directly across and in a half drawn shaded window next door, 2 sets of extremely large bare calves in athletic ankle socks were pacing around the floor closely, possibly about to get down. lights out, no action. we kept talking about how these were the biggest calves we’d ever seen and tried to figure out which ones belonged to a man or a woman, or whether they were same-sex calves. i proceed to take pictures of a few buildings because the lighting is ethereal at that hour in cameraland.

anyway, the next day i take a look at the pictures and in one of them, something seems a little off.

i’m getting a weird vibe looking at it. i zoom in closer, and oh my god! i think there is a guy in there.

and oh my god, he’s staring right at me. looking all retired porno actor in a robe with nothing underneath? could it be? this dude is MY personal Raymond Burr. and it was around 1:30am so it seemed a majority of the neighbors were asleep. seemed.

haha! just when you think you’re alone, there is a naked dude in a robe quietly staring at you.

i lost my favorite dress in a tacky hotel in seedy downtown las vegas. at least my last few moments with her were meaningful.

i am on a losing streak when it comes to rentals this week. first this boring and predictable thriller called Fracture and then this sci-fi dystopian action flick called Equilibrium.

(8:25:56 AM) audrey: i watched equilibrium last night, that movie was mega corny
(8:26:09 AM) audrey: last time i listen to you
(10:40:45 AM) woo: i didnt say it was classic
(10:46:12 AM) audrey: That part where Christian Bale risks his life to save a puppy because it licked his face is so corny
(10:46:33 AM) audrey: You just like movies where puppies are protected by futuristic machine gun toting martial arts freaks
(11:03:20 AM) woo: maybe true
(11:06:05 AM) woo: watch big rig
(11:06:10 AM) audrey: NO
(11:06:13 AM) woo: yes
(11:06:14 AM) audrey: i’m not listening to you anymore
(11:06:19 AM) woo: shut your face
(11:07:02 AM) woo: you would have watched equilibrium eventually anyway
(11:07:15 AM) audrey: no i wouldn’t, it got lousy reviews
(11:07:15 AM) woo: you wish christian bale would come to your house and yell at you

it’s sunday morning and i’m doing what i do every sunday morning – drinking coffee at my computer while browsing the interweb and listening to albums i haven’t played in a while before heading out to breakfast. my internal alarm clock goes off at 8am no matter what. not complaining, i love being an early riser cause no one is up when i am.

anyway, i need a late pass because i just discovered this site Passive Aggressive Notes which is a site where people submit hilarious hostile notes people leave. i’m cracking up reading some of these to the Black Caesar soundtrack. In the 10 years of shared housing experience i have, i am lucky i have never had to deal with a roommate who left notes.

sorry for the language, but it’s the only way i can describe this scene from nick cage’s latest movie, Bangkok Dangerous (shouldn’t it be called Bangkok IS Dangerous?)

first cage beats up women and terrorizes kids in the wicker man remake and now he’s in a movie where he beats up and severs asians. i wonder what he is going to beat up in his next movie. it’s probably going to be sea otters or something random. he’s running out of things to beat up.

young and mike both randomly sent me a link to this guy’s loteria style illustrations this week. they are fun and funny