Thursday, October 29, 2009

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, MFers.


Laugh at McSweeney’s:
It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherf***ers.

An excerpt for your enjoyment:

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Danzig To-Do List


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

hahahahahaha

edit – i just saw this one too and now my sides hurt

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

crabcore explained

ok, i’ve mentioned how great wfmu is here numerous times. the blog is incredible and after i first complained about the solo face, they came through with a full gallery. yes! i love it when people and/or organizations i respect have similiar fascinations.

Anyway, I saw this late, but who cares. WFMU program director (and amiable music nerd) Brian Turner wrote this hilarious post about ‘crabcore’ that had me in stitches. I can’t stop laughing at this terrible band’s video and their crab moves

Crabcore moves
Chiefly among the crabcore musician’s repertoire of stylistic gestures is the crabwalk itself, from which the genre’s title is derived. The crabwalk is identified by the player’s extremely low stance, wherein both feet are set apart from one another as far as possible, while still allowing the player to maintain at least a 90 degree bend in his knees. While in the crab stance, the player then purposefully transfers the weight of his upper body between each leg, achieving a swaying motion intended to have a hypnotic effect among audience members.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I’ve Been Waiting For You

All the Conan’s greatest hits & retrospectives I’ve seen the past month in anticipation of him taking over Leno’s chair on the Tonight Show failed to include one of my most sentimental & poignant Late Night w/ Conan moments ever. Back in 2003 during a Thanksgiving hiatus, they reran one of his old episodes in claymation.

Claymation.

It was surreal, brilliant, hilarious and every adjective possible one can use to describe something wonderful. What was also special about this episode (and Conan & his team, as it were) was that this would have never made sense on any other show. Never. I remember being amused and incredibly engrossed in this episode from the start and then a few minutes before the credits rolled, my personal piece de resistance came on: Clay David Bowie began performing one of my most cherished rock ballads (and easily one of my favorite Neil Young songs) “I’ve Been Waiting For You.”

It has remained one of my most favorite and indelible tv memories and here’s a video clip that I had saved


Here is Neil’s original off his s/t album

And here’s a b-side Pixies version with Kim Deal singing that I adored in college

Friday, May 29, 2009

john lurie’s visual art kills me

I love John Lurie’s deadpan sense of humor and I’ve mentioned his Fishing with John show here before. He’s better known as a musician and actor first, but he is also a visual artist. Look at his paintings, especially the titles he gives them.

www.johnlurieart.com/art




Sunday, May 10, 2009

Porous Presents

This was hanging on a tree outside when I came home this evening:


There was no note attached, but I know it’s from the same person who sent me this 3 years ago.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

The War on Peer Approval

Uh-oh! Guess who just figured out how to rip video clips from her DVDs?

Clare E. Rojas and Andrew Jeffrey Wright have some white out fun with stuffy fashion magazines:

Devo “Through Being Cool” video:

The pack of teens terrorizing the family of joggers is pretty great, but the odd non-dance oriented choreography amuses me too.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

property of the queen

i can’t stop watching this

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

So Much Diamond Davery


Speaking as someone who listens to David Lee Roth-era Van Halen on purpose, I feel compelled to share with you this Diamond Dave version of the classic arcade game Asteroids.


It’s amazing

Friday, January 23, 2009

Oscars Edition

I could not resist making my own

aretha’s inauguration hat

There is this group on facebook for fans of Aretha Franklin inauguration hat and a few of the submitted fan photos are hilarious

Attacking George Bush’s helicopter

file under guilty laffs

Oh and bravo to the President for the decision to shut down Gitmo. Badass.

Monday, December 22, 2008

my local hesher pizza place

I don’t know why, but I love the grouchy heshers that work at Arinell’s pizza in the mission. There’s always some stoner rock or metal playing in there way too loud and they’re always throwing the pizza on the counter like they hate you and your yuppie guts. anyway, the last time i was in there the 2 guys behind the counter were arguing about whether the metal playing over the speakers sucked or not. So amusing. But really, i’m just looking for an excuse to post pics of the signs they have up by the register



Sunday, December 7, 2008

andy samberg is hilarious

i can’t believe this aired on tv. NSFW if your coworkers knows what the word ‘jizz’ means…

and yes that’s Justin Timberlake in the bad wig

Thursday, November 6, 2008

i’m hungry

I would have voted for Bacon too.
from www.seriouseats.com

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween 2008

My costume is finished!

I’m Bjork when she wore that dead swan dress to the Oscars a few years ago. Now all I need is a baby to carry around with me and I’ll punch anyone who tries to take a picture of me.

Monday, August 18, 2008

when the peeping tom becomes the peeped

this is almost too embarassing to share but it also makes me laugh like a maniac in my head. i was on my friend’s roof the other nite to enjoy some fresh air which unintentionally turned into us “playing Rear Window”. we noticed that there was a quiet party in one of the windows directly across and in a half drawn shaded window next door, 2 sets of extremely large bare calves in athletic ankle socks were pacing around the floor closely, possibly about to get down. lights out, no action. we kept talking about how these were the biggest calves we’d ever seen and tried to figure out which ones belonged to a man or a woman, or whether they were same-sex calves. i proceed to take pictures of a few buildings because the lighting is ethereal at that hour in cameraland.

anyway, the next day i take a look at the pictures and in one of them, something seems a little off.

i’m getting a weird vibe looking at it. i zoom in closer, and oh my god! i think there is a guy in there.


and oh my god, he’s staring right at me. looking all retired porno actor in a robe with nothing underneath? could it be? this dude is MY personal Raymond Burr. and it was around 1:30am so it seemed a majority of the neighbors were asleep. seemed.

haha! just when you think you’re alone, there is a naked dude in a robe quietly staring at you.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

r.i.p. favorite dress

i lost my favorite dress in a tacky hotel in seedy downtown las vegas. at least my last few moments with her were meaningful.


Friday, July 25, 2008

meh movies

i am on a losing streak when it comes to rentals this week. first this boring and predictable thriller called Fracture and then this sci-fi dystopian action flick called Equilibrium.

(8:25:56 AM) audrey: i watched equilibrium last night, that movie was mega corny
(8:26:09 AM) audrey: last time i listen to you
(10:40:45 AM) woo: i didnt say it was classic
(10:46:12 AM) audrey: That part where Christian Bale risks his life to save a puppy because it licked his face is so corny
(10:46:33 AM) audrey: You just like movies where puppies are protected by futuristic machine gun toting martial arts freaks
(11:03:20 AM) woo: maybe true
(11:06:05 AM) woo: watch big rig
(11:06:10 AM) audrey: NO
(11:06:13 AM) woo: yes
(11:06:14 AM) audrey: i’m not listening to you anymore
(11:06:19 AM) woo: shut your face
(11:07:02 AM) woo: you would have watched equilibrium eventually anyway
(11:07:15 AM) audrey: no i wouldn’t, it got lousy reviews
(11:07:15 AM) woo: you wish christian bale would come to your house and yell at you

Sunday, July 20, 2008

wacky world of hostile notes

it’s sunday morning and i’m doing what i do every sunday morning – drinking coffee at my computer while browsing the interweb and listening to albums i haven’t played in a while before heading out to breakfast. my internal alarm clock goes off at 8am no matter what. not complaining, i love being an early riser cause no one is up when i am.

anyway, i need a late pass because i just discovered this site Passive Aggressive Notes which is a site where people submit hilarious hostile notes people leave. i’m cracking up reading some of these to the Black Caesar soundtrack. In the 10 years of shared housing experience i have, i am lucky i have never had to deal with a roommate who left notes.