Lydia, Brandon and I are going to cash in on this recession and make an escapist game called Virtual Baller for the Wii. for the bonus round after each level ends, you have to strut into the clurb and make it rain with your wii remotes. we also decided there could be different levels of balling such as a gambling high roller to thuggy rap mogul who starts his own telecommunications company. brandon suggested a hipster baller role where $20 could take you a long way. i wish i knew how to make video games.

ok sorry. i guess daily motion took that erykah badu video down (hi rajbot)

anyway, these were posted on a My Little Pony message board and i am dying over here.

i always get freaked out when i see pictures of 12 year old thug wannabees holding up guns on the internet so one holding up a My Little Pony in the same menacing fashion is so awesome. i hope he is for real.

well i posted classic rap album covers done in ms paint and then i saw these rock ones on flickr. the trout mask replica one cracks me up.

and here’s one i forgot to add to the other post

i’m glad we have SF Sketchfest for giving me the opportunity to gorge on seeing some of my favorite comedians live. last night i saw jon benjamin and eugene mirman with bob odenkirk, michael showalter from the state (eh), and tim & eric and i laughed for days. i love jon benjamin. he calls into my favorite talk/comedy radio show on wfmu as odd characters sometimes alongside jon wurster and listening to those guys make my day, they’re so frickin’ funny. after zack rogue performed a few sulky poignant acoustic songs, benjamin said something about using that last song for a jerk-off mixtape he made and i cry-laughed so hard. it was fun to see his act in person and i have a new appreciation for his comedy partner eugene mirman. tim and eric showed a fake absolut vodka ad they made with zack galifinakis that ruled. i missed mike birbiglia’s set who i’ve mentioned here before cuz he was added last minute. :( i wished the stupid mezzanine allowed cameras.

This made me laugh

Loudspeaker Karaoke Scares Conn. Teacher
1 day ago

ROXBURY, Conn. (AP) — Karaoke can be scary, but threatening? A school custodian’s impromptu after-hours karaoke performance prompted a police response when a teacher thought she was being threatened over the loudspeaker.

State police say the teacher at Booth Free School barricaded herself inside a classroom Wednesday when she mistook someone singing a Guns N’ Roses song over the public address system for a threat.

She was working after hours and thought no one else was in the building. Then she heard someone say over the loudspeaker that she was going to die.

Six troopers and three police dogs showed up and found three teenagers, one of them a custodian at the school, who had been playing with the public address system.

Police say one of them sang “Welcome to the Jungle” into the microphone. The song contains the lyrics “You’re in the jungle baby; you’re gonna die.”

The teenagers were cuffed for about 15 minutes while police investigated. They didn’t realize anyone else was in the school at the time. No charges will be filed, said state police Sgt. Brian Ness.

this right here is probably the funniest thing young has ever done. young is the type of person who thinks he’s funnier than he actually is, so i am really proud of him for once succeeding in an attempt to be funny all the while staying true to his stifling annoying attributes.

somewhat related

9:41 AM me: when i was in the middle of that text message to you talking about emma’s dad’s homemade sausages smelling so good, it was my turn to bowl so i left my phone on the table. brian and katie saw it and thought wtf? like i was texting **** about sausages smelling good and they thought it was some kind of weird sexual thing

9:43 AM Young: HAHAHAHAHA

that’s hilarious

me: i know

they were looking at me weird when i came back to the table after i bowled

9:44 AM Young: aww, i wish i went

me: i had to convince them that i was texting you about real food

hi, i’m taking a break in the desert. here’s a belated birthday gift i made for my favorite mexican

today i saw the video for Sensual Seduction and i laughed and i laughed.

GOTTDAMN i must really be a simpleton if this is cracking me up.

below is the RSS feed for www.isitchristmas.com

please be real, lawyer dog.

he looks like richard gere to me.

do you want to laugh? okay.

diane reminded me

I have no idea how I did not know about Mike Birbiglia, but better late than never. i had comedy central on early evening when he was hosting the friday night standup showcase (i forget what it’s called). he’s goofy and self-deprecating and i LOLed a few times.

ok, so i told you guys not to mess with llamas, and now i’m telling you not to mess with blue jays. brian tried to scare a few of them away from our site cause they make this godawful racket and they straight swooped down on him The Birds style. Cliff caught it on camera except for the blue jays, so we have all been photo-shopping his friends in.

alexis’

mine

young’s

that i had one of the weirdest encounters at the gym yesterday. first i’ll give you a background. last month my friend mike did a photoshop rendition of what he encountered in his apartment hallway when he came home at 3:45am. here it is (semi-nsfw) we talked about how a grown man wearing a shirt and no pants is one of the worst things ever. yuck

so last month when young and i were at the gym, this filipino looking young woman came in and basically was yelling at some guy on her phone the entire time she was on the bike. she was buggin out, completely loud and obnoxious and everyone kept staring at her. she also hit the machine a few times when she couldn’t figure out how to adjust it right, cursing loudly. honestly, i think everyone who noticed her were aware that she gave this vibe like she could be violent. the feeling was palpable thus no one said shit to her about being disruptive.

anyway, i hadn’t seen her again until yesterday in the womens locker room. dude, she was creeping me out she just kept staring at me. i didn’t know what her problem was. and her locker was next to mine and i accidentally hit her booty with the door when i opened mine. i thought i was gonna get socked in the face and said sorry, and she just quietly said “it’s okay”. so the whole time i’m changing she is fucking staring at me – not even discretely, head on. who does that? total creep. i had to turn around. so when i turned around when i finished dressing, SHE HAD NO PANTS ON. just like mike’s graphic except she was wearing a pullover hoodie. i’m almost wanted to bust out laughing but didn’t want to invite more attention. and it’s not like she was changing. she was just standing there and putting things into her bag and brushing her hair with no pants on for what seemed like an eternity. god. i hope i don’t see her again.

moral of the story: shirt minus pants is a bad look for women as well as men.

i had to tell young this morning because he remembered her

so yesterday when i was going through my photo albums and reminiscing about all the areas i’ve explored in the bay area, i came across this photo i took the last time i was in Big Sur (2004?). we drove past this DONNY DARKO ass llama and were like “what the…?” it was so frightening. i was like I’ve GOT to take a picture. so we back the car in front of the llama and it’s starting to get even weirder, i can’t even describe the noises it was making. i had to get out of the car to get close and i’m freaking out and fidgeting with my camera and the noises are intensifying and it started shaking its head from side to side!! i almost expected some mutant john carpenter craziness to occur, like something out of The Thing. i finally took the picture, unfortunately the quality leaves much to be desired. I immediately jumped back in the car right when it was ready to spit on me. i had no idea. later i told a friend and he said, “yeah, that’s what llamas do, spit.” oh word?

moral of the story: do not fuck with llamas. especially scary donny darko ass ones.

here is the infamous picture.

sorry, i am not about to img src that shit because i don’t want to see this thing looking at me everytime i post a new entry here.

3 minute score for me loving the hell out of life right now
[audio:killthepower.mp3]

have you been watching these new r. kelly trapped in the closet chapters? they are hysterical. and there is will oldham again! (see chapter 15)

i watched the simpsons movie last nite and it was much funnier than i expected it to be. it dawned on me just how long this show has been on the air and i realized that i’ve been watching it since 9… really?? i’m old. not to mention i saw it with my old roommate and he snuck in beer for us and i felt like old times in the living room. the last few seasons have been kind of hit or miss for me though cuz a lot of the episodes seem more A.D.D. and excessive on the pop culture references that don’t pertain to anything about the story. but there have been a few great episodes. i really like the one where homer and bart convert to catholicism and marge envisions protestant heaven as a snotty WASPy nightmare and Catholic Heaven as a multi-cultural party where every party ends with everyone doing river dance on a giant cloud

seriously though i love that so much

not into the song too much, but this Kanye video with Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham is funny funny. seriously…wtf? haha

i like it when they get randoms to lip sync in music videos. remember john goodman in the talking heads’ wild wild life video? or this is like chevy chase & paul simon “you can call me al” except that i don’t like either one of those guys so this is better.

p.s.

i can relate to his where-am-i and oh my god mannerisms during that mary j blige assault. reminds me of when my mom made me go to a catholic ‘retreat’ for a weekend during junior high and there were spirit rallies

“HUGE! Mel Gibson Cardboard Cutout for sale!”

This is approximately 7.5 feet tall(at highest point) by approximately 6 feet wide (at widest point). This item is made with a 1 inch high-density weather treated foam board that WILL NOT BEND!

I don’t know what you want to do with it, but Mel’s drunk face alone is worth the bid!

i choose pink eye. this promo shot for Hairspray is beyond scary. this is like the tidal wave of blood through the hall in the shining to me. or when donald sutherland realizes in Don’t Look Now that who he thought was his dead daughter is actually a homicidal midget in little red riding hood garb